24th December 2017
In the early hours of the morning I was watching a mouse with both its rear paws stuck in a glue trap. I hadn’t the heart to kill it. By the time I woke up, one of my parents had dealt with it.
I had three slices of toast and a coffee that didn’t help. Does it ever? We were a family of five in a two-bedroom apartment, and we were getting stuck under each other’s feet.
The lights are a million eyes, my dear,
The windows are a million ears
But sing till your lungs’ used up
and it’s never enough
What I wanted was to see a museum; what I needed was to revise Old High German vocabulary; what I did was stream football highlights until lunchtime.
It was Christmas Eve and everyone was eager for carolling somewhere Brit-friendly. But my relationship with the Church was in a raw phase and I wanted nothing of it.
So that’s why I ditched my family on Christmas Eve and took a train to Harlem for a free jazz show. The jazz was alright. It’s not as sweet when you’re lonely.
The year after, I took a deep breath and carolled heartily.